12.02.13

eggsEven after all these years, I still find it strange that people feel the need to express their feelings about the fact that I’m at my age, been married for a while and still childless. “You’re still young enough to have a baby!” they exclaim. “Don’t you want to have children?” “Surely you want to pass on your genes-!”

Now, I’ve never displayed any tendencies towards maternalism, I’ve never even tried to fake it – anyone who knows me will attest to this. I don’t care to carry or cuddle anyone’s baby, I generally don’t find babies cute – I mean, they have to be exceptionally cute or I have to be completely biased towards the child or their parents to feel that way towards the sprog. To date, I only find my brother and sister-in-law’s children cute. I even cringe at the word ‘cute’ sometimes, and certainly I would never ever describe a child as ‘adorable’. Why should I adore a child who hasn’t done anything to prove him or herself beyond merely existing? And it wasn’t even their choice to exist, they haven’t done a thing yet to elicit my adoration! Those baby products commercials where the mother either kisses or pats the baby’s bottom? I’m like, “Why?” All I think about is pooey nappies and up-chuck. No thanks! … I’ve never heard the tick-tock of that biological clock. I’ve never felt a tug at my womb (ugh) at the sight of other women pushing their strollers or dragging their rugrats along as they kick and scream that they’re not ready to leave the playground.

Besides not feeling broody, these days, I also no longer feel angry and irritable when people  carry on about me wasting my potential as a mother. A decade ago, I would’ve been annoyed, but now… These days, I listen politely and I might even vaguely nod my head in agreement. If I’m feeling slightly playful, I might also promise to think about it. On the days that I’m feeling downright devilish, I go so far as to promise that I’ll get on to it right away (wink, wink!). And people generally sigh with relief at having been able to persuade me, to make me come to my senses, to nudge me not quite so subtly towards what they see as my rightful and ultimate role/destiny.

I got all this from an old (we met when I was 17) friend recently when I caught up for lunch with her in Perth. Over post-lunch coffee, she held back tears as she explained how her daughter was the best thing in her life, and I had to have a baby NOW, and she just had to tell me this – before it was too late for me! – and she was so glad to have had the opportunity to say all this to me that day.

Tears. They don’t persuade me any more than a soft-focus image of a baby’s bottom does. The End.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “12.02.13

  1. I get that too, from some people. I don’t mind babies but have really (REALLY!) never wanted my own. Thankfully most people keep their opinions to themselves. Aren’t there enough people on the planet, without me (us) having to add to the numbers?

    • It took exactly a week from returning from wedding leave last year for someone in the office to stop me (mid sentence, mid conversation about a work thing) and say ‘so, next I bet you’ll be planning maternity leave?’ /expectant smile

      I told them no, I had a life/career to live for a while yet.

      Bet if it takes me longer than 5 years to conceive there will be more annoying questions.

      Probably about leaving it too long and ending up a barren wasteland.

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s